The other night I had a strange dream, and anyone who knows me knows that I believe that dreams are significant. They always have some kind of important meaning. Some believe that dreams are our subconscious mind processing what we are going through in our daily lives as we sleep. Other people believe that as our conscious minds sleep, messages from our higher selves come to us in the form of dreams. Either way, I have a dream journal in which I write down details of every dream that I can remember, and they almost always have some significant meaning or message.
In this particular dream, I found myself in a room full of people. It seemed to be a party of some sort. As I looked around the room, I noticed that there were a lot of family members in attendance. The strange thing was though, that most of the people in the room were individuals that I had cut out of my life, or left behind, or who had been removed from my life as I made my way through my healing journey. It was at this point that I decided to leave this party. After all, I could see my family any time, and most of these other people were no longer in my life for a reason. I wanted to focus on moving forward so, I quietly tried to make my way to the door.
Before I could exit, however, one particular individual noticed that I was trying to ‘escape’. He asked why I was in such a hurry to leave, and I replied, “I have no reason to stay here anymore.” He gave me an odd grin and said, “Suit yourself, but you’re forgetting something. This belongs to you, take it with you”, and he handed me a large, heavy black bag. At this point I just wanted to get out of there, so I took the bag without question and headed out the door.
The next thing I knew I was outside walking down a beautiful country road. It was a beautiful, sunny day. The birds were singing and I could smell the wildflowers along the side of the road. I had no idea where I was going but I didn’t care. I was enjoying the journey, and I had faith that the destination was a good one. I was happy. Then, I suddenly realized that something was weighing me down. It was the heavy, black bag. I was still carrying it. Actually, it was so heavy that I was dragging it behind me down the road. I didn’t know what was in the bag, all I knew was that I was told it belonged to me and so I needed to bring it with me. My shoulders were beginning to ache, and the weight was really starting to drag me down.
As I ignored the weight and the pain and tried to enjoy my walk, the bag began to tear at the bottom from being dragged in the dirt. With each step I took, things began to spill out of the tear in the bottom of the bag. I looked behind me at the trail of debris, and I noticed that what was coming out of the bag was garbage. I had been handed a bag of garbage. The other thing I noticed was that the garbage was not mine; it had nothing to do with me. Yet here I was running back to pick up all the garbage and put it back in the bag. I couldn’t just leave it on the road. I totally forgot about my walk and the beautiful day and the positive feelings that I had about my destination. My focus was on making sure that none of this garbage was left on the road. I was taking a few steps forward and then running back to pick up the garbage that had fallen out of the bag. The bag never got any lighter, and I wasn’t getting anywhere.
That’s when my alarm went off. I got up and wrote about the strange dream in my journal and left it at that, thinking that I would come back to it later. But as we all know, life has a funny way of getting busy, especially this time of year. So, I forgot about the dream; or so I thought. As I said in the beginning, dreams always have some kind of significance. For the past few days, I have had a lot of trouble sleeping. I keep waking up in the middle of the night. Every time I wake up, the dream would pop into my head and I would think, “I really need to write about this dream in my blog. I haven’t written a blog post in a long time.” Then I would try to go back to sleep, and I would toss and turn for hours. This morning, I saw a TikTok video in which a child was dragging a big bag behind them because it was too heavy to carry. Finally, when I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning I thought, “Ok Sandy, you’re not going to have any peace until you write this blog. Start writing and it will come to you.” Sure enough, as I write this it is 3:30 a.m. and I finally understand the dream and the message.
First, the dream brought me back to what I had been missing. Writing. I love writing and sharing my stories. I know that somewhere, someone is reading my words and connecting with them, and my words are just what they need to here at that very moment. I need to spend more time writing. That’s how I process things.
Second, and most importantly, the dream was about letting go of the sh*t that wasn’t mine to carry. I was literally carrying someone else’s garbage. I was making my own journey so much longer and harder because I was carrying someone else’s crap and feeling guilty about leaving that crap behind on the road. When I apply that to the conscious world that I live in and what’s happening in my life right now, there are so many parallels. I have been going through a bit of a rough patch with my self-acceptance. Which is crazy, because I have so much to be proud of! I wrote a book, for f**k sakes! I often find though, that when things are going great for me or I am making progress towards my dreams and goals, I let someone else’s words, actions or treatment of me hold me back or make me fearful of moving forward. In the dream I was literally watching myself take one step forward and two steps back. Whether it’s Imposter Syndrome, Inner Bully, Inner Saboteur….whatever you want to call it, it creeps back up on me now and then. The dream was just telling me that I needed to be aware of it and put it back in its place.
As we move through the Christmas season and into 2026, I want you to make some promises to yourself. Not resolutions, but promises specifically to yourself. I want you to: A) make more time for what makes you happy, and B) stop letting other people’s garbage drag you down and hold you back! Be open to and make room for new adventures. Don’t let what your ex did to you keep you from starting a new relationship. Don’t let what your last boss said to you keep you from excelling at your next job. Don’t let what the significant adults in your life did or said to you when you were a child keep you from knowing how valuable and amazing you are. The past is gone, focus on the present and the future! Take the lessons that you learned from those experiences and move forward. Replace all of those negative voices that are whispering in your head with your own voice that tells you every day how f**cking amazing you are! Leave all the garbage behind, you don’t need that crap! Maybe, at one time, it served a purpose…but not anymore.
Are you going to have days when you still hear those negative voices? Absolutely. Are you going to have days when you find yourself carrying someone else’s sh*t? Yep, you sure are. The important thing is to be aware of these things when they happen. Just make sure that your voice is louder. Make sure that you leave the sh*t behind. Every day take a deep breath, look in the mirror and tell yourself: “I AM WORTHY, I AM LOVED, I AM ENOUGH!”
Claim 2026 as your year!
Oh, and pay attention to your dreams!
Much luv, Sandy
In this particular dream, I found myself in a room full of people. It seemed to be a party of some sort. As I looked around the room, I noticed that there were a lot of family members in attendance. The strange thing was though, that most of the people in the room were individuals that I had cut out of my life, or left behind, or who had been removed from my life as I made my way through my healing journey. It was at this point that I decided to leave this party. After all, I could see my family any time, and most of these other people were no longer in my life for a reason. I wanted to focus on moving forward so, I quietly tried to make my way to the door.
Before I could exit, however, one particular individual noticed that I was trying to ‘escape’. He asked why I was in such a hurry to leave, and I replied, “I have no reason to stay here anymore.” He gave me an odd grin and said, “Suit yourself, but you’re forgetting something. This belongs to you, take it with you”, and he handed me a large, heavy black bag. At this point I just wanted to get out of there, so I took the bag without question and headed out the door.
The next thing I knew I was outside walking down a beautiful country road. It was a beautiful, sunny day. The birds were singing and I could smell the wildflowers along the side of the road. I had no idea where I was going but I didn’t care. I was enjoying the journey, and I had faith that the destination was a good one. I was happy. Then, I suddenly realized that something was weighing me down. It was the heavy, black bag. I was still carrying it. Actually, it was so heavy that I was dragging it behind me down the road. I didn’t know what was in the bag, all I knew was that I was told it belonged to me and so I needed to bring it with me. My shoulders were beginning to ache, and the weight was really starting to drag me down.
As I ignored the weight and the pain and tried to enjoy my walk, the bag began to tear at the bottom from being dragged in the dirt. With each step I took, things began to spill out of the tear in the bottom of the bag. I looked behind me at the trail of debris, and I noticed that what was coming out of the bag was garbage. I had been handed a bag of garbage. The other thing I noticed was that the garbage was not mine; it had nothing to do with me. Yet here I was running back to pick up all the garbage and put it back in the bag. I couldn’t just leave it on the road. I totally forgot about my walk and the beautiful day and the positive feelings that I had about my destination. My focus was on making sure that none of this garbage was left on the road. I was taking a few steps forward and then running back to pick up the garbage that had fallen out of the bag. The bag never got any lighter, and I wasn’t getting anywhere.
That’s when my alarm went off. I got up and wrote about the strange dream in my journal and left it at that, thinking that I would come back to it later. But as we all know, life has a funny way of getting busy, especially this time of year. So, I forgot about the dream; or so I thought. As I said in the beginning, dreams always have some kind of significance. For the past few days, I have had a lot of trouble sleeping. I keep waking up in the middle of the night. Every time I wake up, the dream would pop into my head and I would think, “I really need to write about this dream in my blog. I haven’t written a blog post in a long time.” Then I would try to go back to sleep, and I would toss and turn for hours. This morning, I saw a TikTok video in which a child was dragging a big bag behind them because it was too heavy to carry. Finally, when I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning I thought, “Ok Sandy, you’re not going to have any peace until you write this blog. Start writing and it will come to you.” Sure enough, as I write this it is 3:30 a.m. and I finally understand the dream and the message.
First, the dream brought me back to what I had been missing. Writing. I love writing and sharing my stories. I know that somewhere, someone is reading my words and connecting with them, and my words are just what they need to here at that very moment. I need to spend more time writing. That’s how I process things.
Second, and most importantly, the dream was about letting go of the sh*t that wasn’t mine to carry. I was literally carrying someone else’s garbage. I was making my own journey so much longer and harder because I was carrying someone else’s crap and feeling guilty about leaving that crap behind on the road. When I apply that to the conscious world that I live in and what’s happening in my life right now, there are so many parallels. I have been going through a bit of a rough patch with my self-acceptance. Which is crazy, because I have so much to be proud of! I wrote a book, for f**k sakes! I often find though, that when things are going great for me or I am making progress towards my dreams and goals, I let someone else’s words, actions or treatment of me hold me back or make me fearful of moving forward. In the dream I was literally watching myself take one step forward and two steps back. Whether it’s Imposter Syndrome, Inner Bully, Inner Saboteur….whatever you want to call it, it creeps back up on me now and then. The dream was just telling me that I needed to be aware of it and put it back in its place.
As we move through the Christmas season and into 2026, I want you to make some promises to yourself. Not resolutions, but promises specifically to yourself. I want you to: A) make more time for what makes you happy, and B) stop letting other people’s garbage drag you down and hold you back! Be open to and make room for new adventures. Don’t let what your ex did to you keep you from starting a new relationship. Don’t let what your last boss said to you keep you from excelling at your next job. Don’t let what the significant adults in your life did or said to you when you were a child keep you from knowing how valuable and amazing you are. The past is gone, focus on the present and the future! Take the lessons that you learned from those experiences and move forward. Replace all of those negative voices that are whispering in your head with your own voice that tells you every day how f**cking amazing you are! Leave all the garbage behind, you don’t need that crap! Maybe, at one time, it served a purpose…but not anymore.
Are you going to have days when you still hear those negative voices? Absolutely. Are you going to have days when you find yourself carrying someone else’s sh*t? Yep, you sure are. The important thing is to be aware of these things when they happen. Just make sure that your voice is louder. Make sure that you leave the sh*t behind. Every day take a deep breath, look in the mirror and tell yourself: “I AM WORTHY, I AM LOVED, I AM ENOUGH!”
Claim 2026 as your year!
Oh, and pay attention to your dreams!
Much luv, Sandy